This Post is Not About Bananas

So I’m unpacking my car at a hotel tonight and look over and see the hood of the car next to mine is covered in glass. How do I manage always to park next to these people? Oddly, the windshield of the car isn’t broken–perfect condition, as are all its other windows, and the windows of every any other car around it. It’s just that the hood is covered in glass. There are trees immediately in front of the car, with nothing behind them. No glass even on the ground around it. I have no idea how this is possible.

Something strange is going on.

Also, three friends of mine have lost fillings or crowns this week. I blame the moon. I don’t have to understand how the moon works to blame it. It watches me. I watch it back.

If today’s post seems even more deranged than usual, it’s partially because I’m trying to intentionally confuse the ads I’ve added to the site, so I’m working in some extra distinct keywords and phrases, like “moon” and “platypus venom for sale” and “free beer.” At least some ad algorithm somewhere still thinks my demographic wants to purchase various valves, and it keeps trying different types of valves. Do people who read this blog want rodless cylinders, maybe? Or gasket solutions? It doesn’t help that I’ve named my blog after a mythical part. Sort of a feedback loop as ad generation algorithms go, the non-existent product. It’s slowly getting its bearings, though, and figuring our what a canootervalve is. I saw a bike ad tonight, even. It’s sort of creepy to watch it work, actually.

That’s why I’ve started to post images with tags and file names that specify they are not images of bananas. Surely Google won’t crawl through my file names and try to sell us all bananas, but I have to admit I’d jump up and down with excitement if I saw a banana ad over there. Here’s an image that isn’t a banana:

And yes, it’s a real ad currently on Portland Cragslist. Honestly, I fail to understand why that guy doesn’t like full-suspension.

At any rate, given yesterday’s exploration of 650b, and the enthusiasm all four readers of this blog seem to have for sharing opinions (seriously, responses are still arriving daily from the 11-speed question), I thought I’d save Google’s “Street View” cars–you know, the ones that take “pictures” (wink, wink) of “streets” (wink, wink) the trouble of scanning your brain waves right through the walls of your home to figure out what products interest you “photographing” each of your “streets,” by just asking you which wheel size you think is best.

Without further ado then, I bring you Friday’s opinion poll: which wheel size is the best. Keep in mind that I’m an incredibly powerful individual within the bike industry, if only because I am currently employed by two-thirds of all companies in the bike industry. Your response could very well change history.