I am specially trained to enjoy seeing people on bicycles. It used to be job-related, but now it’s more of a pure heart cockles-warming effect. Also, in my particular part of the world, it usually isn’t overuse that leads to trail closures, but lack of use. So encountering other riders out on the trails around my house is always nice.

Nevertheless, this morning’s ride was a mixed bag. On the plus side, I met two other riders out on the trail.

Under the Leaves, this Trail is Paved with the Skulls of Freds

On the downside, they were ye-hawing their way through the section pictured above loudly, gracelessly, and utterly helmetless. Without trying to sound like their long suffering mothers, I briefly advocated helmet use, then continued my ride, now trying to work out the mental tally of how many helmets I’ve broken on these trails and wondering if the little shits had already gone and gotten their slippery brains all over my perfectly good rocks.

Maybe it’s because I used to ride motorcycles a lot, but I can’t imagine setting out on the trails up here without a helmet. You know how there are those few situations where you’d look cooler with a cigarette and no helmet? They don’t apply here. At all. In fact, quite the contrary. You look like an idiot trying to ride these trails without a helmet.

But there will always be those among us who’d show up at a deep sea dive with only some daisy dukes and a snorkel. I can’t say exactly why, but I think it boils down to an inability to understand their surroundings, a total failure to pick up on contexts.

Which makes a product like this so freakin’ awesome:

In addition to introducing this really nice looking split top tube carbon 29er German manufacturer Corratec is introducing a carbon hardtail with an electric motor capable of propelling this thing to nearly 50mph. Yes, a bicycle that can go 50mph.

Perhaps in Germany, a bike like this would be used sensibly, but, should even one of these Green death machines make its way to America, the streets–and particularly the trails–will run red with blood. Surely by now the world realizes that the first thing we badass Americans do with any new ride-able vehicle is pin it and scream wide open into a crowd of Coors drinkers in tank tops. And now that electric bikes have finally arrived, it only stands to reason that fast ones with shocks and brightly colored decals might not be far behind. It may already be inevitable that, soon, confused, bare-headed dabblers everywhere will finally have a new killing machine capable of rivaling the legendary three-wheeled ATV.

It will be interesting to see how Corratec does with this design, and what happens from here.