Sand Trap

 Bikes  Comments Off on Sand Trap
Sep 102012
 

Went out to the GPTB Series #2 yesterday. The Het Meer course is fantastic, with a lot of rolling stuff, roots, wide open sections and the sand.

The sand is somewhat legendary, and with good reason.

Tactics varied for getting through this section clean, but from what I could tell there were three methods, listed here in increasing order of effectiveness:

10. Dismount one turn early, hike
9. Superman into crawl
8. Superman into roll
7. Spiderman Long Jump (like Superman, but with more feet)
6. Basic tuck and roll
5. Modified tuck and roll (yoga influences)
4. Big bunny hop, brace for impact, pedal furiously to bring rear wheel back down
3. Dismount and run
2. Stay loose and float it
1. Be Ryan Trebon

In related news, I’ve started sketching out ideas for the ultimate ‘cross frameset. Why do I do this to myself?

First Loser

 Bikes  Comments Off on First Loser
Sep 072012
 

Found a new hero yet, or don’t much care? Regardless, you have to admit Tyler Hamilton’s recent interviews are shocking. I mean, that hair!

For the most part, I’ve spent the whole sad Armstrong episode standing in the corner just shaking my head. It was on my mind on the ride in to work today, though, and I have what might be a slightly different take on it all.

I don’t think it’s about Lance.

For me it isn’t. For me, it’s about us, fans of pro cycling, being asked to question what we’d all witnessed. If you follow professional cycling, think of a moment that literally got you up out of your chair in the last ten years. That Landis solo breakaway on Stage 17 of the 2006 Tour. Any one of Vino’s mad attacks. Hamilton needing dental work after gritting his teeth so hard racing with a broken collarbone. What Contador has done to the Vuelta that’s going on right now.

Can you trust it? Whatever your personal favorite most amazing day in the history of professional cycling, you’ve now been forced to doubt it. You’d be an idiot not to.

For people who ride bicycles at least enough to suffer, this puts us in an odd place. Those who don’t suffer on a bicycle get to avoid all this. To them, Lance is a figurehead, so they love him. Or he cheated and they hate him. Whatever. But to realize how impossibly difficult it is to ride a bicycle like that–like any of these guys have ridden a bicycle–and be asked to discount that, dismiss it all, causes the brain to do strange things.

Dopers suck. Cheaters suck. But are we supposed to think those rides were easy for these guys?

What sits so wrong with so many of us is that we’re being told those experiences meant nothing–not “less than we thought”: nothing. The reality is that they meant a great deal, corrupted or not. To try to dismiss the entire endeavor might be an honorable approach, but it just doesn’t square with the reality many of us witnessed, wherein one doper among a sea of dopers turned himself inside out to be better than the rest. If the rest of the pack had been clean, I think we’d all feel much better about vilifying the dishonest “winner.” But as it is, we’re being asked to choose alternative winners from a pool of cheaters. Even young children realize that’s stupid.

To be sure, if even half the shady shit that’s being implied about Lance Strongarm’s intimidation tactics and nefarious behavior are true, then the fucker should be in jail, though no one seems willing to pursue that part of it. We’re all supposed to just believe the show’s over after a quiet bowing out by a guy who still gets to keep countless millions upon millions of potentially ill-gotten gain. You can collect all those yellow jerseys if you want, but if he still has the gains, not to mention plenty of fond memories, then what’s been taken from him? Even the sponsors have stuck with him, and why not? The moments were the moments. People apparently pay Kim Kardashian absurd amounts of money just for looking pretty on the outside and being ugly on the inside. That’s a hell of a lot less than Lance has done.

The whole thing is ridiculous.

Fully discrediting someone implies he accomplished nothing, and that’s so patently, obviously wrong that most of us, Lance Armstrong included, just seem to ignore it. Drugged up cheats or not, these riders clearly accomplished something.

You want to really punish Lance? Don’t pretend he never won anything. Give him second place.

The Circle of Life

 Bikes  Comments Off on The Circle of Life
Sep 062012
 


Sorry. Yesterday’s post was quite the mad ramble, but it couldn’t be helped. Back to bikes. Have you seen what Argonaut is doing? True hand-made carbon fiber–as in from sheets–bicycle frames. The kicker? The hands are making them right here in Portland, Oregon. That’s in the United States (despite what some people will tell you).

The only worrying aspect of this story is the new 1-1/8-inch to 1-1/4-inch tapered head tube and Chris King I8 headset that King tells Prolly is Not Probably is “quickly becoming the standard for performance oriented road and cyclocross bikes.”

Now, I love me some Chris King products as much as the next guy, but the last time they starting talking about a new standard, things got a little ugly.

If we’re really dusting off 1-1/4-inch headsets, then I think somebody owes Gary Fisher $50. I also think I still have an original King 1-1/4-inch NoThreadset around somewhere. Good to know the lower cup has a future again. I knew it was only a matter of time.

The future? I mean, when we’re all on the hot new “perfect” 26-inch wheel bikes with new “square taper” bottom bracket technology? That’ll be filled 1-1/4-inch cups top and bottom–at least until we realize those are unnecessarily fat and eventually settle in on 1-inch even.

And do away with threadless in favor of some kind of locking nut built right into the headset.

Sep 042012
 

This time every year, while the trade shows are rolling along, I find myself freshly amazed at how little companies seem to know about their product–or at least how little they’re willing to share with the end users.

Take Shimano’s site. The new SLX components are fantastics–a standout group among some excellent groups–but you’d be hard pressed to learn that from the company’s site. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to learn anything.

What’s the bolt-pattern on those chainrings? Blank space. Are those crank arms hollow? Tough to say. Average weight? Another blank space. Here’s the exact features spec from their page:

Model Number FC-M675
Series SLX
Crank Construction Hollowtech II Technology
Cassette Compatibility 10
Chain Compatibility HG-X 10-speed
4-Arm Chainrings Yes
Cahainring Sizes
Bolt Circle Diameter
Crank Arm Length 170,175mm
Crank Arms
Outer Chainring 40T/38T
Middle Chainring
Inner Chainring 28T/26T
Chainring Bolts & Nuts Yes
Chain Guard No
Chaincase Compatible No
Bottom Bracket SM-BB70 SM-BB71-41A
E-type FD Compatible
Chain Line 48.8mm
BB Shell Width –
Average Weight

Seriously guys, if you don’t know any of this data, and you created the damn thing, what’s the consumer supposed to do? You’re Shimano–biggest and most powerful bike component company in the universe–and you’re populating your consumer-facing site content with shit from a half-ass ERP system, typos and all?

Personally, I’m disappointed it’s not “Chaincase Compatible.”

But hey, that’s SLX. Nobody buys that shit aftermarket, right? And the bike companies all choose groups and components based on price. Now, the top-of-the-line: that’s where we get the solid data.

Consider the first sentence of the new 11-speed Dura-Ace cassette description currently on Shimano’s site:

“Rider-tuned means Dura-Ace works the way you want it.”

Read over that sentence again and tell me how Shimano’s site content is any better than Innova’s (my current gold standard):

(Josh at work found that on Friday, and instantly it made everyone who saw it a better person.)

And before SRAM can back out of the room quietly, let’s learn something about their PC 1051 10-speed chain.

“SRAM continues to innovate the chains that continue to win races around the world. The new PC 1051 10 speed PowerChain™ featuring the PowerLock connecting link provides smooth, precise shifting and weight savings.”

To their credit, SRAM at least has some separate specs with information that’s borderline useful, but most descriptions read as bullshitty and useless as the PC 1051–except the ones that say even less, like the 1031 chain:

“Simply stronger. The PC 1031 chain benefits from new design changes for better performance.”

Oh, well OK then.

But the James Joyce Stream-of-unconsciousness Award goes to the Force cranket.

“Competition-focused technology for the serious set, wherelight weight, strength, and durability come together. The SRAM Force crankset is offered in a BB30 option and, just like SRAM RED, the BB30 crankset is 10% stiffer, 20% lighter, and provides 300% more ankle clearance than the GXP version. Thanks to the unidirectional carbon structure, both GXP and BB30 crankset versions deliver a sleeker and race-proven design.”

Um, what’s inside the crank arms? Are they hollow? What’s the bolt pattern? While I don’t doubt the importance of putting ankle clearance into mathematical terms no human could possibly comprehend, I have to wonder if we could possibly find out whether or not this crankset comes with a bottom bracket.

Online or local, there will always be a need for bike shops, the beat reporters for the bike industry, asking the tough questions that have no answers.

Why don’t companies like Shimano and SRAM spend a tiny fraction of their marketing budget on hiring someone capable of writing copy that makes sense? Tough to say. Why does Innova prefer backwards apostrophes?

Why do you ask so many questions? Do yourself.

Sep 032012
 

So it’s on. Cyclocross season is here. For a guy responsible for a new ecomm site with the domain name “Cyclocross.com,” that means life’s about to get a little busy.

But good-busy. My six-year-old cowbell-ringing assistants and I headed out to what’s become the season opener for ‘cross in the Portland area, the Gran Prix Tina Brubaker. Photos were taken. Cowbells were rung. Course markings were repaired.

Baden, no big surprise, really hates broken course tape and overturned cones. I’m pretty sure he would’ve redriven the barrier stakes completely rebuilt the upper barrier section of the course himself if there hadn’t been that whole “race” thing going on right over his head.

Round one at the David Douglas Park in Vancouver, WA one was about ten miles from my house. This is entirely new to me, this “we can actually go there in under a seven hours” thing, and I’m rapidly getting used to it. Next weekend’s race is almost 19 miles away, though, and that feels like an eternity now.

At any rate, my time is all cyclocross, all the time right now, and that has me wondering how I’d build the ultimate ‘cross bike. Clearly, the collective intelligence of those who read Canootervalve is somewhere between IBM’s Big Blue and “all NASA put together,” so I’m throwing it out there:

What features would make for the ultimate ‘cross bike?

Disc only, I’m thinking, at this point; tapered head tube and PressFit 30 bottom bracket with an eccentric option for the single-speed contingent. Stupid big tire clearance, thanks to the discs and 135mm rear spacing. Full cable housing. Maybe build in a mount for a K-Edge Chain Catcher. Other than some key geometry decisions (I’m thinking 69mm BB drop), what am I leaving out?

And what about frame material? The number of aluminum frames out there doing well in ‘cross races tends to still be really high, and steel will probably always be great for ‘cross.

And what would I call the project if I got serious and opened a folder on it?

New Google Bike Slightly Less Horrible Than Previous One

 Bikes, E-commerce  Comments Off on New Google Bike Slightly Less Horrible Than Previous One
Aug 312012
 

Google recently unveiled their newest bicycle, the winning design among several submitted to resupply the Mountain View, California behemoth’s stable of “getting around campus”-mobiles. I’m happy to report it’s awful.

That’s a good thing, though, given the various hip, high-fashion bikes they might have chosen, this crude, little chunk of bicycle shows some class by just being a bicycle. A really horrible, poorly-made, appallingly ugly bicycle.

I’m always a little amazed when engineers in one field seem to have a complete and utter lack of appreciation for engineering in another. Surely there are at least a few Googlers who find it difficult to use these, though, compared to the bike it replaces, these seem positively amazing.

I’ve been gently kicking Google in the their double-“o”s for a while now, driven largely by the fact that I think they could be doing really amazing things, and instead they can’t seem to even keep their own Google+ app working on their own Android operating system.

Credit where credit’s due, though. Sometime Wednesday night, Google Maps was updated to include turn by turn directions for bicycle routes.

That’s pretty wonderful.

It still doesn’t excuse those Google bicycles, but it’s pretty great, and should help guys like me, who read cue sheets about as well as we read tea leaves, and three times slower. You can check out the update here.

That’s all I got for today. Back to another really long day of work. Big news this weekend.

Aug 302012
 

I think I might be looking forward to Interbike. It’s a strange feeling.

Last year, the tradeshow was plenty tolerable because I essentially didn’t have anything to do but wander aimlessly making snarky remarks and spending as long on senseless shit as I wanted. I took pictures and wrote brief little things. Easy.

On paper, this year looks a lot more intimidating. I’ll be in meetings with factory guys, representing a fledgling ecommerce site, and meeting with my manufacturer to go over a bunch of IT research and strategic planning issues.

Overall, I’ll be run pretty ragged, but somewhere in there, I’m sure I’ll still take photos and offer snark. Just a little.

After looking like clowns for not embracing 29ers soon enough, every brand in the world seems ready to charge into 650b, whether they understand the platform or not. Eurobike always provides the warning shot, and then Interbike catches me square between the eyes. Will I see more 650b 150-160mm travel mountain bikes or disc-brake equipped ‘cross bikes? Tough to say, but both will definitely be out in force.

And I love that.

I want to see 650b bikes and disc ‘cross bikes. Maybe it’ll get old sooner rather than later, but probably not.

I’m also looking forward to everything else. The Thomson dropper post (above) looks like the boys from Georgia finally brought a giant can of “what the fuck is wrong with all you people?” to the dropper post market. If it really is the dropper equivalent of a Thomson post–and that early report from Pinkbike sounds promosing–it’ll shake things up in a very good way.

I want to see King’s disc road hubs. There’s no reason to, because I get the idea of an R45 with higher flanges and a six-bolt disc mount, but still.

I would very much like to ride a bike with a Magura fork, and a bike with a Formula fork. Both seem to be bringing some intelligent design and simplicity make to forks, the way Marzocchi punk rocked everybody in the late ’90s by building a crude by effective mini version of a motorcross fork.

RockShox and Fox both seem likely to follow the electronic integration rabbit hole no matter where it leads, and I think options are nice. Having more than two viable fork manufacturers would also be nice. (And yes, I did happen to notice that a Suntour fork won Gold in the Oympics this year.)

I could just be that there are nice products entering the market. I hope so.

Signs and Symbols

 Bikes  Comments Off on Signs and Symbols
Aug 292012
 

They’ve just repaved some of the roads I use for riding to work, and I have to admit, the temporary, spray painted bike lane men have a lot more character than the regular stenciled ones. Take the little guy up there, for instance, waving to you while riding and sporting some devil horns. How do I know they’re devil horns? Because there are a lot of them with devil horns along my commute, and even one holding a pitchfork. In fact, I think the guy who painted these might not like cyclists that much.

It’s going to be a pretty busy week. I’m searching for a .NET developer, writing and organizing the last content pieces for a new site, planning a marketing campaign, and slowly building a bike company.

I capped off last night with another round of drawing adjustments to Danzig. I hope to build a fresh animation soon, but here’s where we are after that last round of revisions.

Unplugged

 Bikes, Gadgets  Comments Off on Unplugged
Aug 282012
 

The mad buzz of activity surrounding electronic suspension systems, including this Jet 9 RDO over at Bikerumor.com, shows no signs of stopping any time soon. This means two things:

First, it means electronic suspension will be unavoidable at Interbike. I doubt it’ll reach the level of carbon fiber Taiwan catalog hardtail 29ers or this year’s me-too, disc brake ‘cross bikes, but it will most certainly be present.

And why not. Electronics make everything better. Take Legos.

You could spend a few hours building something interesting with Legos, or you could spend just a few months longer and what appears to be slightly more money than the cost of an actual car to create this awesome Lego Mindstorm go-kart. But to get the full effect, you really have to see this thing in action!

Pure awesome. If you’ve ever wondered how large a Lego device would need to be in order to roll up onto a rug without visibly straining almost to the point of stopping, now we all know the answer is “apparently bigger than that.”

Sadly, the only thing we seem to be using electronics to do right now is power our bikes–like if we need to go a considerable distance but don’t want to have to burn $5 worth of dinosaur bones. Practical and beneficial for everyone? Sure. Just not nearly as exciting as figuring out ways to add electronics to do shit your bicycle already did without batteries.

In addition to shifting and suspension regulation, then, I have a few suggestions for other ways to incorporate electronics into the crude and overly mechanical world of riding a bicycle.

  1. The Brakes – Duh. We’re done everything else, but now it’s time for those wireless elecronic brakes that work almost all the time. Bonus points if they could make it so a call to my cell phone from my wife would slam on my brakes so I could take the call. That’s the type of integration we’ll be able to look forward to in the future.
  2. Hydration – Tell me this: how ridiculous is it that here, in the 21st Century, we have to suck on Camelbak tubes or squeeze water bottles? Electronically regulated hydration could make drinking as easy as pressing a button or two, and/or maybe regulating flow through some type of pressure control switch that mimics what the mouth does when it drinks.
  3. Tire Pressure – If only there was a way to fit a battery inside your tire, a small circuit board might be able to announce your current tire pressure every 30 seconds. Using apps and The Cloud, your friends could even monitor the air pressure in your bike tires from their desktop and mobile devices. And how fun would it be if they were also able to change that setting from their living room?
  4. Two Words: Remote Control – London’s Olympic XC course aside, the problem with traditional XC mountain bike races is that they’re endurance events. Not the most spectator-friendly of events, right? So let the racers do what they do so well: train and pedal. All that other stuff–from suspension settings and tire pressure to hydration and putting on the brakes–is really a hell of a lot to have to deal with while churning out 400 watts on the threshold of oxygen debt meltdown. So give all that crap to somebody else–somebody standing by the side of the racetrack. Radio-controlled mountain bike racing with real people on the bikes: you can’t deny the entertainment value in that.

Yep. We’re only in the early stages of this whole electronic thing. Look what it did for Dylan.

Highrocked

 Bikes  Comments Off on Highrocked
Aug 272012
 

Rode the Highrocks Invitational near Estacada yesterday, which meant seventy-two miles and 5672 feet of elevation gain. Hurt. One of the payoffs, the view from the highest elevation point on the ride, had to be missed thanks to some skeet shooters. The guy with the semi-auto and really bad aim was enough to keep me at the distance you see above.

Also did some drawing over the weekend.